7 Ways to Date Yourself This Valentine's Day

1. Treat Yourself

What is something you would be joyful to receive as a gift? Would it be flowers, cupcakes, or perhaps that one pair of earrings you’ve been eyeing online? Make the choice to splurge a little and treat yourself! It can become so easy to live in a scarcity mindset, but remember that in the midst of working, saving, and surviving, it is not a bad thing to live a little too. Perhaps even invite the Lord into the conversation and see what He would have in mind for you, so that it is not just you spending on a whim. Instead, it is an experience of shopping with God. He might even have an assignment to give a gift to another single dear to your heart. Singer Lauren Sloat once shared publicly that one of her friends felt moved by the Lord to purchase her a heart-shaped faux diamond ring as a gift. The ring symbolized that God, in His timing, had a spouse for her, but in that very moment, the truth that she was already seen, known, and loved. Years later, she did, in fact, meet her husband, Jordan, and when he proposed, he did so with a real heart-shaped diamond ring. When we invite God into gift-giving, we may find exquisitely beautiful stories to live out with Him.

2. Quality Time with God

Deadlines, distractions, and duties will fight for our attention daily, but there is something very sacred about setting apart time to just spend with the Lord. Even if it means scheduling a Zoom “Meeting” for a timeslot on your calendar, carve out a specific, uninterrupted space to spend with the Lord. Ask Him questions, reminisce about memories of prayers you used to pray for that are not your daily life, or purely sit before Him to listen for His still, small voice. Time spent with the Lord is never wasted, and it can fill places that you did not even realize needed tender care. Don’t be afraid to bring before Him disappointments or honest struggles within, for He desires the whole of your life, not just the parts that don’t feel messy. This date with God is also a reminder that, romantic partner or not, the Lord is the greatest love of our lives, and He is to be First. Let the greatest love of your life have special moments with you.

3. Invite Friends Out

Don’t forget the gift of your gal-pals this Valentine’s Season. Galentine’s Day, a Girl’s Night Out, or a meal and movie can fill your cup with laughter and sisterly love. Encourage the ladies to wear their favorite dress or to come over for a craft night in their PJs. Regardless of the venue, make a plan for sincere connection with others. Often, we find that as much as we fear we are the only ones feeling alone, overlooked, or forgotten romantically, we aren’t. Through seeing that you are not the only one, you come to find that a shared burden is half, and a shared joy is doubled.

4. Watch Your Favorite Rom-Com

There is something very sacred about a comfort movie, a movie you’ve seen dozens of times and can nearly quote word-for-word, but somehow it speaks to your spirit every time. Even if it means dusting off your DVD player, grab a bowl of popcorn and let every moment have your full attention, as if you were watching it for the first time. Ask yourself thought-provoking questions along the way as you watch as well. What is it about that particular film that offers you peace? Is there a theme within this movie that you see now that you have never seen before? Which character resonates with you the most and why? If you were in their situation, how would you handle it? Along the way, you may discover some treasures about yourself.

5. Order Take-Out

Giving yourself a night off from cooking can be a way to date yourself too. Order take-out or go out to eat at your favorite restaurant. Even a shift from the mundane daily chore of making a meal can be beneficial for breaking out of what can often feel like a rut. When you do sit down for the meal, really take the time to enjoy it. Try to avoid feeling downcast or sad that you are not with a romantic partner; it is a unique time in your life when you are loving yourself and stewarding the season God has given you well. Let it be a meal marked with gratitude and glory, not loneliness and longing.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Alexander Spatari

6. Hobby Night

Do you have a hobby that sparks your creativity? Even if it is something you haven't done in a while, it is never too late to pick it up again. It is another way to break free from the same old, same old, and to actively pursue something that has proven true as something delightful to your heart. Even consider beloved childhood amusements like ice skating or horseback riding. Painting pottery or taking a specialty course for art may reawaken within you a piece of your own personality that has been shelved for far too long. You can do this solo or invite a friend or family member to accompany you to add to the adventure. Work is not the only task you are meant for; you were made for leisure as well!

7. Benefits of Dating Yourself

When you choose to “date yourself,” you are truly investing in yourself. Single or not, your personality, your mental well-being, your work and life balance, and your spiritual relationship with the Lord all matter in every chapter of your life. Taking the time to set out to love yourself is not selfish; it is Biblical. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 reminds us that, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.” 

What this verse is conveying is that your body, the home for your mind, your heart, and your spirit, is a vessel and temple of the Lord who abides within you. With that being the case, how will you then care for this house of the Lord? This does not imply loving yourself more than you love God; rather, it means stewarding what God has entrusted to you. Resolve to be kind to yourself, to care for yourself, and to be gentle with yourself this Valentine’s Day season and encourage those around you to do the same.