4 Signs Your Marriage Is Aligned with God’s Will

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1. We Both Feel Free to Speak Up in Our Homes

In modern culture, the remedy to patriarchy is de-masculinization. We all know the Instagram and sitcom trope of the dumb and useless Dad/Husband. This man no longer has a real voice in his home because his wife has stolen it from him. We watch as he resigns to a life of distraction and avoidance because he has lost a real role in his home.

On the flip side we see women who are in unhealthy marriages in which they cannot speak because their husband dominates her life with fear and manipulation. Oftentimes, this can happen even under the guise of biblical “submission,” but in reality, it is far from what God had in mind for our marriages.

Healthy relationships exist when mutual love, respect, and submission exist. The Hebrew word for submit is a verb that means to apply, serve, present, or bring near. God’s good plan for our marriages is that we both serve each other in love daily. This looks like both husband and wife feeling free to speak their minds, share their needs, and express their wants. When our goal is to lift each other up by showing each other the love of Christ, freedom to be the person God made us to be is the result.

2. God Is the Glue That Holds Us Together

Marriage comes with many challenges, but we can overcome so much with God! The marriage relationship is an example of iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17). The intimacy we experience in marriage acts as a mirror, showing us the things we need to work on in order to love our partner better.

We can’t overcome our sinful nature on our own! We need God to heal, grow, change, repent, apologize, learn, serve, love, and more. If God our primary mission is to serve God in our marriage relationship then we know we are headed in the right direction. Not to mention he is able to heal us when things get tough. He redeems our failures, brings beauty from our pasts, and shows us what the next right step is for our future too!

3. Marriage Should Reflect God’s Design

At the start of the Bible, God begins humanity through the union of a man and a woman. They set the precedent for what marriage should be and that one of the purposes of marriage was to procreate. The Bible affirms that God intends us to express our sexuality through the covenant of marriage with one man and one woman.

Matthew 19:4-6 says, “He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

To be in the perfect will of God, our marriages need to reflect the design that Jesus affirms. We hold fast to one husband or wife. This means same sex marriages and polygamy are not a part of God’s will. Adultery also goes against God’s will for your marriage and is grounds for divorce.

4. Your Marriage Vows Are Upheld

While God’s best hope for us is that we remain in one healthy marriage for our lifetime the Bible does make clear that the vows that we agree to at the start of marriage should be upheld if we are to remain in our marriages. When we abandon our vows then we are no longer aligned with God’s will for our marriage.

In 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, Paul counseled new Christians in the first century that they were not obligated to leave their unbelieving spouses. Their holiness covered their spouses and homes as new believers. He continued by telling them that if their spouse did walk away from their marriage as a result of their newfound faith, they should ‘let it be.” They were not bound to that union and had the freedom to remarry.

In the case of abuse, the abuser has functionally abandoned their marriage. Abuse is much worse than the abandonment because the abuser is using the holy union of marriage for satanic ends. God condemns abuse of a spouse or a child throughout the Bible (Psalms 9:18; Isaiah 3:14-15, Amos 2:7; etc.).

Our God of love does not tolerate abuse and neglect. If you find yourself in an unsafe marriage, please take every step to protect yourself and your children. When a spouse abandons your relationship, you are not called to hold onto that marriage. You can let that person go and allow God to heal your heart from the hurt caused by an uncommitted partner. Addiction can also undermine your vows and are grounds for divorce if your addiction is creating an unsafe environment for your spouse and family.

Our marriages are an opportunity to support each other in the mission of bringing Heaven down to Earth. Whatever that looks like specifically in your day-to-day life is something you and your spouse have the joy of discovering together. As long as you are holding close to Jesus and offering each other God’s love your doing exactly what God has called you to as a couple.